Wielding Power & Influence

7 11 2011

People in power (and men, in particular) continue to make news headlines for their abuse not only of influence but of children. First we saw the horrific video of a Texas family law judge beating his daughter while spewing a venomous tirade of foul and hurtful language. Next it was former Penn State athletics official, Jerry Sandusky, charged with sexually assaulting eight boys between 1994-2009. In this latter case, other school officials have been charged with perjury and with failing to meet their duty to report suspected or known threats to children and an ongoing investigation continues.

Adding to the Penn State scandal, the accused continued to use the university’s facilities after his retirement in 1999 for his work with The Second Mile, a charity he founded in 1977 for at-risk kids. The organization’s web site lists a who’s who of sports icons and hall of famers on its honourary board (including golf great Arnold Palmer, Heisman Trophy winner John Cappelletti, former Steelers Jack Ham and Franco Harris, retired football coach Lou Holtz, current Penn State football coach Joe Paterno, baseball’s Cal Ripken Jr., actor Mark Wahlberg, and corporate notables from Hershey Foods, Quaker State, Ortho Pharmaceutical, and KMart). One wonders how their potential power and influence might be wielded given the circumstances.

“This is a case about a sexual predator who used his position within the university and community to repeatedly prey on young boys,” said state Attorney General Linda Kelly. Despite being arraigned on 40 criminal counts, Sandusky has been released on bail.

The Texas judge, meanwhile, will apparently not face charges due to the length of time that has elapsed since the (videotaped in 2004) beating took place.  Police in the Texas jurisdiction where Aransas County Court-at-Law Judge William Adams resides have announced that they “believe that there was a criminal offense involved and that there was substantial evidence to indicate that and under normal circumstances … a charge could have been made” but that the statute of limitations for such charges stands at five years (CBS News). An investigation by the state’s judicial conduct commission and the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services is still pending.

These are headlines that have crossed international date lines, but will soon simply become state, and then local, coverage as yet another round of high profile cases dims from the spotlight. Whether you live in Texas or Pennsylvania, or in Ontario, it’s ultimately up to us whether the conversation continues…what do we think about a statute of limitations on crimes like child abuse (that often don’t surface for many years)? How do we feel about sexual predators successfully using youth programs to connect with kids? And what do we imagine is the best we can do to help the children who fall prey to these criminals (or may)? What’s our potential influence here, and are we wielding it in the best interests of children?






Classroom exercise sparks bullying debate

3 11 2011

This one has me scratching my head. Let’s see where you weigh in on the debate raging about a New York teacher’s efforts to enlighten her students about the impact of bullying…

If you haven’t already heard about this (now “viral”) item, it’s bouncing around the online news outlets and the blogosphere with lightning speed.

A teacher in New York was teaching her class about bullying and gave them the following exercise to perform. She had the children take a piece of paper and told them to crumple it up, stamp on it and really mess it up but do not rip it. Then she had them unfold the paper, smooth it out and look at how scarred and dirty is was. She then told them to tell it they’re sorry. Now even though they said they were sorry and tried to fix the paper, she pointed out all the scars they left behind. And that those scars will never go away no matter how hard they tried to fix it. That is what happens when a child bullies another child, they may say they’re sorry but the scars are there forever. The looks on the faces of the children in the classroom told her the message hit home.

So what’s the debate? Well, one camp is applauding what they see as a valuable and lasting lesson about the impact of bullying. The other camp is suggesting that this exercise gives bullies reinforcement for their actions by confirming the hurt they can cause. The former notion is an easy one…make an impression on kids, get them thinking about a serious subject, leave them to ponder their position. The latter, however, would appear to be rooted in a firm belief that bullies are a) not already aware of the effect they have, and/or b) motivated by inflicting hurt or harm. It’s certainly not the most optimistic point of view.

The thumbs-up side (supporting this teacher’s exercise as a positive one) appears to be leading the debate by a substantial margin, judging by the online posts and comments I have sampled. That there is discussion, dialogue, or debate at all is good thing. Feel free to add your thoughts.





You can’t be what you can’t see

23 10 2011

Here’s an exciting and worthy project aimed at empowering young women and changing the portrayal of young girls in the media…MissRepresentation addresses this in several important ways. If you’ve looked closely at a young girl lately you may have noticed the jeans, the makeup, the hair…much of it a predictable response to perceieved expectations that, for many, go hand in hand with being young and female in our society. Too many young girls spend tremendous effort and money trying to live up to something they’ll never achieve — and who wants them to? The potential cost of these misguided priorities is substantial – their confidence, their time, and a distraction away from the other skills or hobbies or attributes they could be pursuing. In fact, some young girls are literally dying to live up to “an image.”

Driven by the message delivered in the film Miss Representation, a documentary that premiered at the 2011 Sundance Film Festival, the project is “a call-to-action campaign that seeks to empower women and girls to challenge limiting labels in order to realize their potential”. Among its goals are the eradication of gender stereotypes and the creation of lasting cultural and sociological change. The project includes an educational curriculum, film screenings, and an action agenda with options for supporting the campaign.


Check out the details at www.missrepresentation.org

 





October is Child Abuse Prevention Month

2 10 2011

To educate yourself about child abuse, and for information about what each of us can do, please visit www.childabusecouncil.on.ca.

To support the work of the Community Child Abuse Council, marking its 35th anniversary this year, join the fun on October 21st at the Mad Hatter’s Ball: www.the2011mhb.com.





“The Cruelty Crisis”

14 08 2011

Dr. Brené Brown

Here’s an interesting and thought-provoking take on bullying from Dr. Brené Brown (Professor and researcher, University of Houston, Graduate College of Social Work). She draws our attention not to the kids we typically associate with schoolyard trauma or to the teens whose angst can have devastating results, but to our own (adult) behaviours and our society’s tolerance of cruelty. Recommended reading.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/ordinary-courage/201010/the-cruelty-crisis-bullying-isnt-school-problem-its-national-pastime





Feed The Dream

15 04 2011

Did you know that in Hamilton more than 23,000 students get a breakfast, lunch and/or snack each day at their local school or community centre? Many of these kids, 1 in 4, live in poverty. Others lack the required nutrition to get them through the day because busy lives, work schedules, or stressful home situations get in the way. Hamilton Partners in Nutrition (HPIN) provides nutritional meals and snacks to students across this community, funded largely through provincial money but relying also on donations and fundraising. Rising food costs require ongoing efforts to raise money and a significant dependence on volunteer dedication.

On Saturday, June 18th you can support their work by supporting their Feed The Dream Auction. It will be held at Hamilton’s Discovery Centre and will include both silent and live auction events as well as entertainment and hors d’oevres. Opportunities to help include buying event tickets, donating auction items, volunteering for the evening, or advertising in the auction brochure. EnMark Associates is pleased to be donating an auction item, and challenges readers of this site to do the same.

Full details can be found at www.partnersinnutrition.ca or by calling 905-522-1148, ext. 301.  Be sure to find out about the special pre-auction cruise aboard The Harbour Queen.

There are more than 100 student nutrition programs in Hamilton, and as of June 2010 they serve 447,183 breakfast meals and 650,690 snacks with the help of 6,695 volunteers. Parents alone contribute more than 45,000 hours of volunteer time, estimated to represent more than $750,000.

 

Karen’s recent work has included a project with the Hamilton Community Foundation and area stakeholders to develop a universal school-based nutrition program in Hamilton. Buildiing from what is already in place, the initiative aims to make nourishment available to all elementary school students (secondary school population would come next) and to help the community move forward towards the goal of being the best place in which to raise a child. Watch this blog and the Hamilton Community Foundation’s web site (see link at right) for updates on the project.





Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood

8 04 2011

McDonald's ad, Austria

 Regular readers will know that I have talked about this topic often – the commercialization of childhood and the inappropriate (and damaging) marketing of everything under the sun to kids. More often than not the messages are highly sexualized, exploiting the very innocence that ought to be protected.

Here are two resources you may find interesting. It’s nice to share other voices and reassuring to know others are ranting about this too.

www.commercialalert.org: their mission is “to keep the commercial culture within its proper sphere, and to prevent it from exploiting children and subverting the higher values of family, community, environmental integrity and democracy”. Check out their Parents’ Bill of Rights and campaign to get salespeople out of schools.

Our nation is in the grips of a commercial hysteria. Sometimes it seems like everything is for sale. At Commercial Alert, we stand up for the idea that some things are too important to be for sale. Not our children. Not our health. Not our minds. Not our schools. Not our values. Not the integrity of our governments. Not for sale. Period.

www.commercialexploitation.org: national organization (U.S.) devoted to limiting the impact of commercial culture on children – their mission is “to reclaim childhood from corporate marketers”. Good resources and attention to diverse issues (from obesity to violence) along with clout in their advocacy efforts – they have successfully battled Disney, Scholastic Inc. (Bratz), McDonald’s and Hasbro. 

The commercialization of childhood is the link between many of the most serious problems facing children, and society, today.  Childhood obesity, eating disorders, youth violence, sexualization, family stress, underage alcohol and tobacco use, rampant materialism, and the erosion of children’s creative play, are all exacerbated by advertising and marketing.  When children adopt the values that dominate commercial culture—dependence on the things we buy for life satisfaction, a “me first” attitude, conformity, impulse buying, and unthinking brand loyalty—the health of democracy and sustainability of our planet are threatened.  CCFC works for the rights of children to grow up—and the freedom for parents to raise them—without being undermined by commercial interests.

CCFC is active in the Toronto area where a recent campaign helped stop the installation of digital monitors in area highschools (along with their ad content)…anyone involved with CCFC in Hamilton???

 





Sad Day to be a Girl

18 03 2011

Maybe it’s the warmer weather, or the peek of colour from crocus blooms in my garden today, but I started off with such a cheery disposition…then the media barrage began. First I read that this coming Sunday, March 20th, is the first International Anti-Street Harassment Day. Apparently a day is needed to remind us that catcalls, leers, sexual innuendo and whistles (aka street harassment) are inappropriate. I would like to think offensive behaviour is just that, offensive. Should be out of bounds each and every day. Activists would likely say I’m naive. I can’t fault their efforts to educate, and I recognize that this offensive harassment is often trivialized. According to www.StopStreetHarassment.com street harassment “includes sexually explicit comments, catcalls, groping, leering, stalking and assault, and more than 80 per cent of women have encountered it”. Learning that grim statistic makes me think a day set aside to expose the offenders isn’t such a bad idea (sad, but necessary).

Moving on with my day, I next discovered that Mattel Inc. has launched a new Barbie, called Clawdeen Wolf. This new doll’s purpose is…are you ready?…to help teach young girls about plucking and shaving. Now, I don’t want you to think I’m picking on Mattel here, but seriously…there are just too many issues here not to raise a few red flags. First, Clawdeen is clad in a micromini skirt, baring her navel, and is a ridiculous but no-longer-surprising size 2. It gets worse. The Globe & Mail reports that she boasts of being “a fierce fashionista with a confident no-nonsense attitude” and that shaving and plucking her “freaky flaws” is “a full-time job” (she’s a werewolf’s daughter, according to Mattel’s Monster High web site). Does Mattel think that the little girls who will actually play with this Barbie are in need of shaving guidance? More to the point, does Mattel see body hair as “a freaky flaw” and intend for young girls to see it that way too? Yes, Clawdeen is a toy. But she’s obviously marketed to young girls, and as toys go this is but another example of being off the mark in so many ways. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again…manufacturers need to hear from us when they so blatantly target children with messages that are sexualized and age inappropriate. Parents will no doubt be the most influential censors where purchases are concerned, but in the spirit of “it takes a village” (and recognizing that parents need all the help they can get) we should be all be offended, and vocally so. The Globe & Mail reports that Clawdeen is already a big seller, quoting a Toys ‘R’ Us spokesperson saying that Clawdeen is “the most popular fashion doll that we have today” and a Mattel spokesperson (defending the doll), saying she is “all about celebrating your imperfections and accepting the imperfections of others.”

Yes, it started out as a nice (almost spring) day. But it has turned out to be a sad day to be a girl.





It’s Family Day

21 02 2011

If you live in Ontario, Alberta or Saskatchewan today is officially Family Day. It’s a statutory holiday in other parts of Canada too  (but under different names) so roughly 60% of the country observes the day as a holiday. In Ontario, it’s about celebrating the importance of families and family life to people and their communities.

(photo: David Cooper, Toronto Star)

Many families will spend time together, and a range of activities (many of them free) are happening for kids of all ages. Family members separated by distance may pick up the phone to connect, or use the less personal email, text or Skype options. But how does a community celebrate the importance of families? Public events really don’t reflect a community in this sense…for the most part they are organized by City departments and municipal staffers. And it’s February, not so conducive to the outdoor block parties or neighbourhood events we might see in warmer months.

I’m interested in hearing about ways a community can show that it values families. Are you taking part in a community-organized event? Is your corner of the bigger community doing something to celebrate family life? Is there a gesture of acknowledgement we could all make, as community members, that you think would honour families? Post a comment or drop me a line and tell us about it. In the meantime, I’m off to call my parents.





Searching for Porn?

31 01 2011

I ask this question because, astoundingly, the statistics collected for this web page tell me that among the top search phrases that lead people to this page are those of people looking for porn. “Illegal girls” is one such phrase. “Young porn” is another. There are search phrases in Russian and others that include graphic references. Ironic isn’t it? A search for illegal images or pornographic content relating to children connects you to the web site of a consultant whose work includes partnering with the very agencies trying to stop child porn and support its victims!

If you found this page “by accident”, take a moment to look around this site before you continue your search for child pornography (you won’t find any here). Read some of my past posts about the damage done to children by our sexually toxic environment, and think about the part you are playing in inflicting that damage. Read about the agencies who are struggling to keep up with waiting lists for trauma treatment services that are in such huge demand. Ask yourself if you’ll still be interested in the same search parameters 3 or 5 years from now, and then (assuming the answer is no) think about whether a passing interest is worth the pain it causes (child porn + fans = kids + trauma). If the answer is yes, on the other hand, please seek help.