Child Honouring

28 03 2011

Canadian children’s entertainer Raffi has a project that is inspiring and worth passing along…you can find details about it at his web site: www.raffinews.com.

“Child Honouring” is the singer/author’s approach to healing communities with a “child first” philosophy…organizing society around the needs of its youngest members. Its founder says “its spirit is invitational – a call to imagine and create a diversity of child-friendly cultures. A child-honouring society would show love for its children, and therefore for all of us, in every facet of its design and organization”.

The Child Honouring project includes a Covenant for Honouring Children along with Child Honouring Principles (for a .pdf version of these, click here: http://www.raffinews.com/files/child_honouring/covenant_principles.pdf. There are also resources for teachers and parents.

Hailed as a “compassion revolution”, Raffi’s project has elements of earth-friendly ecology and global peace as well as child-first concepts that include ideas for action and plenty of inspiration. The project’s Advisory Council includes such notables as Dr. Fraser Mustard (of Early Years fame), Elise Miller (founder and Executive Director of the National Institute for Children’s Environmental Health), Dr. Charles E. Pascal (Executive Director, Atkinson Charitable Foundation) and Joel Solomon (Chair, Tides Foundation).

The Washington Post once called Raffi Cavoukian “the most popular children’s entertainer in the western world”. The Order of Canada recipient is respected not only for his craft and talent, but also for refusing commercial endorsements and shunning marketing directly to children. This latest initiative will undoubtedly elevate his standing as a global advocate for children and an ally to parents and educators everywhere.





Sad Day to be a Girl

18 03 2011

Maybe it’s the warmer weather, or the peek of colour from crocus blooms in my garden today, but I started off with such a cheery disposition…then the media barrage began. First I read that this coming Sunday, March 20th, is the first International Anti-Street Harassment Day. Apparently a day is needed to remind us that catcalls, leers, sexual innuendo and whistles (aka street harassment) are inappropriate. I would like to think offensive behaviour is just that, offensive. Should be out of bounds each and every day. Activists would likely say I’m naive. I can’t fault their efforts to educate, and I recognize that this offensive harassment is often trivialized. According to www.StopStreetHarassment.com street harassment “includes sexually explicit comments, catcalls, groping, leering, stalking and assault, and more than 80 per cent of women have encountered it”. Learning that grim statistic makes me think a day set aside to expose the offenders isn’t such a bad idea (sad, but necessary).

Moving on with my day, I next discovered that Mattel Inc. has launched a new Barbie, called Clawdeen Wolf. This new doll’s purpose is…are you ready?…to help teach young girls about plucking and shaving. Now, I don’t want you to think I’m picking on Mattel here, but seriously…there are just too many issues here not to raise a few red flags. First, Clawdeen is clad in a micromini skirt, baring her navel, and is a ridiculous but no-longer-surprising size 2. It gets worse. The Globe & Mail reports that she boasts of being “a fierce fashionista with a confident no-nonsense attitude” and that shaving and plucking her “freaky flaws” is “a full-time job” (she’s a werewolf’s daughter, according to Mattel’s Monster High web site). Does Mattel think that the little girls who will actually play with this Barbie are in need of shaving guidance? More to the point, does Mattel see body hair as “a freaky flaw” and intend for young girls to see it that way too? Yes, Clawdeen is a toy. But she’s obviously marketed to young girls, and as toys go this is but another example of being off the mark in so many ways. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again…manufacturers need to hear from us when they so blatantly target children with messages that are sexualized and age inappropriate. Parents will no doubt be the most influential censors where purchases are concerned, but in the spirit of “it takes a village” (and recognizing that parents need all the help they can get) we should be all be offended, and vocally so. The Globe & Mail reports that Clawdeen is already a big seller, quoting a Toys ‘R’ Us spokesperson saying that Clawdeen is “the most popular fashion doll that we have today” and a Mattel spokesperson (defending the doll), saying she is “all about celebrating your imperfections and accepting the imperfections of others.”

Yes, it started out as a nice (almost spring) day. But it has turned out to be a sad day to be a girl.





Searching for Porn?

31 01 2011

I ask this question because, astoundingly, the statistics collected for this web page tell me that among the top search phrases that lead people to this page are those of people looking for porn. “Illegal girls” is one such phrase. “Young porn” is another. There are search phrases in Russian and others that include graphic references. Ironic isn’t it? A search for illegal images or pornographic content relating to children connects you to the web site of a consultant whose work includes partnering with the very agencies trying to stop child porn and support its victims!

If you found this page “by accident”, take a moment to look around this site before you continue your search for child pornography (you won’t find any here). Read some of my past posts about the damage done to children by our sexually toxic environment, and think about the part you are playing in inflicting that damage. Read about the agencies who are struggling to keep up with waiting lists for trauma treatment services that are in such huge demand. Ask yourself if you’ll still be interested in the same search parameters 3 or 5 years from now, and then (assuming the answer is no) think about whether a passing interest is worth the pain it causes (child porn + fans = kids + trauma). If the answer is yes, on the other hand, please seek help.





Safer Internet Day

22 01 2011

Check out the link below to receive information from the Canadian Centre for Child Protection  about Safer Internet Day, February 8, 2011 (including a reminder closer to the date if you’d like one):

http://www.saferinternetday.ca/app/en/

CCCP’s web site also offers valuable information and tools, so check that too:

http://protectchildren.ca/app/en/home

You’ll find education, awareness and prevention materials as well as research, a parent survey and access to CyberTip!ca, a tipline for reporting online sexual exploitation of children.

Resources for children and teens of all ages are provided, and are suitable for passing along to young people who use the Internet or text messaging, or are otherwise active online. A wealth of valuable information to be shared.





New Issue of Leadership Briefing

16 12 2010

The most recent issue of the Community Child Abuse Council’s Leadership Briefing is now available. To view a copy, visit their web site www.childabusecouncil.on.ca.

These briefings are produced regularly by Karen Smith for the Council and include research, updates and happenings related to the Council, child abuse in general, and child sexual maltreatment in particular. To be added to the mailing list for future issues (electronic only) email me or the Council.





Hamilton needs more than policing to end violence

12 12 2010

Hamilton’s new Mayor, Bob Bratina, has praised recent efforts by Hamilton Police Service (and particularly the ACTION unit) at reducing crime in the downtown core. The Dundas News reports that between May and November of this year, the special ACTION unit’s 40 officers made 657 arrests, laid 960 charges, seized more than $400,000 in illegal street drugs and issued 3,250 offense tickets. Muggings were down, as were life-threatening calls.

(photo: thehamiltonian.net)

Police Chief, Glenn De Caire, told a recent press conference that he expects to see the crime rate go up as reporting and enforcement efforts continue, but that this translates into increased safety. This is good news for our troubled downtown core, and a commendable accomplishment for our police service. Mayor Bratina has pointed to unruliness, loitering, yelling and public disorder as embarrassing indicators of the downtown’s problem areas (especially the intersection of James and King Sts.). But he and Council will need to look much further and extend their reach considerably if they are genuinely committed to reducing violence in this community.

The focus on downtown, aside from being Mayor Bratina’s ward, has much to do with exposure. It’s part of the city that is on display to all who pass through, and its shady reputation is an oft-cited reason for shopping elsewhere. Those who have worked in the core know that it is an eye-opening sight on any typical day. And yes, there are incidents involving violence. But the bigger picture has yet to be addressed by our elected leaders.

Violence against women, child abuse and sexual exploitation, and elder abuse are (to our shame) alive and well here in Hamilton. These are significant concerns as well as repugnant crimes. No community can claim to be making ground in anti-violence efforts while these horrific crimes continue. It matters not that the “jurisdiction” for addressing these crimes does not rest solely at the municipal level. Our city’s leaders must be the loudest voices among those demanding resources and action from all levels of government. It matters not that rates decline or rise from one year to the next – a sexually abused 3-year old is never an acceptable statistic.

What does matter is that we see these violent crimes as a community-wide issue. Our tolerance for abuse must be zero, and our collective response to the victimization of our citizens must be loud and clear – we  expect the prevention of violence to be a priority in all City actions. That will help to turn attention to the root causes behind some of these crimes, and to the lobbying

Mayor Bratina (photo: Spectator)

and advocacy efforts that are required of our city leaders in order to address those causes. In the same way that we are acting to eliminate poverty in Hamilton, we must act to eliminate violence. The police will be crucial partners in these efforts, but we can’t reasonably expect them to prevent violence on their own.

MPP Sophia Aggelonitis has expressed her concern about these issues in the past, and recently cited the provincial government’s commitment of more than $1 million to Hamilton as part of her government’s anti-violence strategy. We should expect to see part of this money earmarked for violence prevention that goes beyond policing to address the victimization of children, seniors, and women as well as prevention of violent crime in general. Sure, we’d like to see fewer fights in front of Jackson Square. But tidying up the unsightly facade downtown won’t do much in making Hamilton the best place in which to raise a child. In truth, much of the violence in this community is hidden and too rarely spoken about. Elder abuse doesn’t tend to happen on busy streets downtown, nor does child pornography appear in public places very often. These crimes happen in the shadows. They happen in homes. They happen in all parts of Hamilton. And each time they do, the victims are our neighbours, our family members, our friends. These are ugly crimes that leave lasting scars. Preventing them must be high on our new City Council’s agenda.





Losani Homes’ Record-Breaking Turkey Drive

11 12 2010

As a follow-up to my recent post congratulating Losani Homes on being honoured for their philanthropy, here’s an astounding accomplishment that has gone quietly unnoticed by most Hamiltonians…

The Losani family hosted about 500 guests last week for their annual Turkey Drive. The event raises money for local charities. This year, the modest goal was $50,000. But that amount was

Lino and Fred Losani at cheque presentation

nearly reached before the event even took place, thanks to early calls and requests made to Losani Homes trades associates. By the time the event finished, a whopping $210,000 had been raised! This is quite likely a record for a single fundraising event of this kind in Hamilton.

Fred Losani, speaking to guests, acknowledged the generosity of their associates and recognized the success that can happen when we all work together. He pointed to recent events like Al Pacino’s visit to the city, which raised a reported $150,000 for charitable causes, saying that by

Food Share's Joanne Santucci accepts donation

comparison very little effort was required for Losani Homes to achieve this incredible outcome. The bighearted company provided food and drink for guests at the Turkey Drive and organized the “virtual sale” of turkeys to those in attendance. Of the money pledged, $110,000 has been shared between the Community Child Abuse Council, Hamilton Food Share and Good Shepherd. The remaining funds, once collected, will be distributed among other worthy causes.

Any other companies out there feeling generous enough to try something similar with their own network of associates? There is no shortage of need in this community, and this approach to philanthropy is just the sort of gesture that can make a huge difference without requiring

Community Child Abuse Council Board Chair, Greg Doerr

charities to knock on doors or invest huge amounts of time and energy for limited returns. The Losanis have set the bar and shown that the results can be tremendous – their quiet leadership is admirable and sets an example for us all. We are grateful for their commitment to this community, and thankful for the generosity of their associates – Barzotti Woodworking, Pearson Dunn, Turkstra Lumber and the many others who gave to this event (a full list was published in the Hamilton Spectator on December 9, 2010).





Congratulations Losani Homes

4 12 2010

‘Tis the time of generosity again, the season when so many look for opportunities to give back, lend a hand, or make a donation. The media is reporting that despite a downturn in Canadian philanthropy overall, Hamiltonians remain generous. Many local charities who depend on this generosity hope that’s true and that it continues. There is so much to be done.

Fred & Lino Losani (centre) receive AFP award

The Association of Professional Fundraisers, Golden Horseshoe Chapter, honours one company each year for its philanthropic support to the community. This year that honour went to Losani Homes, recognized for their leadership and community spirit at a luncheon in November. The company supports many worthwhile causes, including the Community Child Abuse Council, Hamilton Food Share, and the Good Shepherd. And their support is increasing, reaching further to do more for the community. That takes not only a healthy bottom line in business terms, but also a commitment to ongoing philanthropy that is not simply based on quarterly results. Kudos to them for demonstrating just such a commitment and strengthening this community in so many ways.





Old Spice?

9 11 2010

Marketing magazine recently reported that Canadians are fans of the current Old Spice advertising campaign (“You like the way I look. Of course you do.”). Not only was it the most recognized campaign, it was also the best liked in this country (least liked? The family chasing the Dairy Queen Blizzard truck).

Flash back for a moment to 1965 and imagine the likelihood of either of these marketing campaigns being successful. A naked guy taunting us from the shower? A family drive with Mom on the hood of the car trying to grab hold of an ice cream truck? Doubtful these would ever have been conceived, let alone aired and memorable. My point here is that things have changed considerably in the way marketing reaches us. More disturbing to me is the change in how it affects us, and what has become acceptable to so many of us.

The so-called “prime time” viewing slots on television have opened up to include programming that once was restricted to much later hours and intended for adults only. Shows like “Pimp My Ride” and “Desperate Housewives” are now airing when young kids are still in their living rooms. Not that long ago, Brooke Shields caused a tremendous uproar by exposing her navel and midrift in an advertising campaign. Bratz dolls have sexed up their wardrobes to the point that once-fashionable Barbie has now donned similar garb in order to stay “trendy” and competitive. The cast of Glee on the cover of GQ magazine has been in the news for its racy portrayal of highschool kids, and children have come to know firefighters in most communities as heroes and calendar pinups.

There’s only one common element in all this, and it’s money. Whatever sells goes. And we buy it. Every lowdown, inappropriate and disrespectful moment of it. Maybe our filters are so tired from trying to screen and distinguish among all this stuff that they just don’t work anymore. Or maybe we’ve just become numb to all the skin and sex and selling. Old Spice sales reportedly are up, and Bratz dolls are again being touted as a must-have item for the holidays this year. Trouble is, child abuse is up too. Domestic assaults are still a plague on families. Pornography still nets kids and ruins lives. The links are obvious. What we do about it is trickier.

Stop advertising? No. Censor more of this stuff? Governments won’t do it. Quit spending our money on the products and services that try to sell to kids with sex and violence? Now that just might work. I spoke to a mother the other day who had been trying to explain to her 8-year old why a particular mannequin’s outfit was inappropriate for school (mini skirt, lacy tights, spaghetti strap/sequin top). It’s not easy. I admire her taking a stand though, and she showed that it can be done (and done at any age) with patience and love. She told me she’d rather put up with a few tantrums than risk the alternative.

Can we find more ways to reinforce the appropriate, and gradually reduce the inappropriate, from our lives and the lives of young children? Can we do a better job of turning trashy TV into teachable moments for kids? I think so. And I tip my hat to all those parents out there who are trying to do just that every day. Their task is daunting, and they could use our help and reinforcement. Whether you have children or not, take opportunities to voice your disapproval when the merchandise in the next store you visit falls well short of the mark for appropriateness. As I often hear teachers and parents telling children, “use your voice”.

Photo: spreadshirt.com





Changing our Sexually Toxic Environment

2 11 2010

Cordelia Anderson

If you read this blog regularly, you know that Cordelia Anderson recently spoke about our “sexually toxic environment” as part of a discussion here in Hamilton during Child Abuse Prevention Month (October). Her insights and revelations about “porn culture” and what we must do to reverse the hijacking of our sexuality fired up those who were fortunate enough to be present – and I hope that lasts! In the meantime, I took to heart Cordelia’s message about doing what we can, in our own circles of influence, to rid ourselves of the overly sexual (“hypersexualized”) danger zone in which we (and youngsters) live.

While traveling, I now request a “porn free” room when I make hotel reservations. This means insisting on a room that doesn’t have pay-per-view pornography or has blocked the availability of it during my stay. Families as well as individuals can do this easily…and the more who do, the more likely we are to find greater availability of these rooms.

While shopping, I no longer turn away and ignore inappropriate or offensive merchandise. I recently pointed out to a shopkeeper that a particularly sexual t-shirt had no place on display in a store selling children’s clothing. In another, I complained about a line of merchandise called “Porn for Women” that was prominently displayed in the gift shop of a heritage site (go figure). In both cases, I elected to shop elsewhere and let them know why this was my decision.

These individual efforts do pay off. After complaining about a rubber tag for sale in a local dollar store (“On Myspace I’m Legal”) – displayed next to Dora The Explorer and other kids’ items – the store not only removed it from their inventory but also invited me to write to their head office and explain why it’s unacceptable. Pointing out the inappropriateness of sexualized merchandise can lead to an “aha” moment for sales clerks, store managers, buyers and distributors. Community-minded corporations will often respond when made aware of merchandise that might otherwise have slipped through their radar.

There are a host of things we can do, each of us, to change our environment so that these hypersexualized examples are not considered “normal”. First and foremost, remember that money talks. Spend it strategically. If you don’t think dolls for young girls should be dressed in feather boas and miniskirts, don’t buy them. And let store staff know why you won’t spend your money on these items. If you don’t think the lyrics to certain songs are healthy for the sexuality of our young people, point that out to them. Explain what’s degrading or objectifying about the words, and offer empowering messages instead.

Simply starting a conversation can be enough to get the ball rolling. How do you feel about the mainstream TV line-up including shows like “Pimp My Ride”? What about the results you get when you search for “porn” on Google? For an interesting comparison, Cordelia Anderson suggests trying that search and then searching for “healthy sexuality” and seeing the difference in results (and the time it takes).

October was Child Abuse Prevention Month. November is the month set aside to talk about woman abuse and to raise awareness about the problem. If we only address these issues once a year, we can pretty much give up on making any inroads. If we continue to let media and merchandisers degrade and objectify women, we won’t get very far either. So speak up, engage others, and spend strategically. It will take all of us to make a difference in what “normal” consists of and whether messages about healthy sexuality are available to young people.

“The need for change bulldozed road down the center of my mind”.

Maya Angelou